The dictionary says a gentleman is a chivalrous, courteous, honourable man. That’s a good, plain definition. The Urban Dictionary says: “The true gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will . . . whose self control is equal to all emergencies, who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity.”
A gentleman is good to women because he has his own dignity and sees theirs. He takes opportunities to show them respect. He is not pushy, manipulative, belittling; he stands with them not because they are weak but because they deserve friendship.
It goes deeper than memorising and repeating certain behaviours, such as standing when a woman or an older person enters the room.
A gentleman “holds chivalry and politeness in great regard. He holds the door for people; he gives up his seat; he takes off his coat to a lady on a cold evening.”
We currently live in a world where most men don’t open the doors for ladies, many men are uncouth and very petty, extremely disrespectful to women, say nasty things about women, Many men have told me, “iI’s hard to be a gentleman when fewer of the women around you don’t seem interested in being ladies”, or that most women are interested in money and that’s all. Whatever you think the lady represents, you still should always be a gentleman
Some men seem to think that being strong means exhibiting rude behaviour and bulldozing others. Not so.
A recent study found an overwhelming majority of boys in the world believe strength and toughness were the most valued masculine characteristics.
Gentlemen aren’t aggressive or emotionally closed-off; they treat women with care and aren’t afraid to speak honestly about how they feel. And it’s so sad that the way society is raising its future men doesn’t correspond with how ladies consider gentlemen.
Being a gentleman is something you can’t learn from school. One might think to be a gentleman you need to wear suits, carry a briefcase and have a steady six-figure salary. Well, my friend, this is not the case. You don’t need to be rich or even own a suit. In fact, one does not need to look any further than what you see daily to know that money and power do not buy class There’s much more to it than that. So, i’m here to guide you through a few unwritten principles to help you better understand how you can be a gentleman.
Today, being a gentleman is a matter of choice. It is a title you earn through an unwavering commitment to invest in your character. It is not about perfection, but a constantly renewed pursuit of excellence.
First things first, make sure you take a shower and groom yourself before heading out to the public. Wash your hair and body, shave, or if you prefer having a beard, make sure it is clean-cut and smells nice. Trim any nose hair that is visible outside your nose. Cut your finger – and toenails.We would recommend using a facial soap and combining it with a cream, emulsion or a gel for your face after the shower.
Afterward, use deodorant and cologne. Deodorant is used for your armpits only to block the sweat and possible bad smell during and after the day. Cologne is there to bring out the good smell that will last until the end of the day.
Tip: When using cologne, spray your neck area once or twice and your left or right inner-wrist once. Then tap your wrists together lightly. Let it sit for 15-30 minutes before heading out. This way it seems as it is your natural smell rather than a bucket of cologne poured on your body.
As for the colours for your outfit, try combining one colour pants with one colour shirt at first. If you are unsure of what colour combinations fit you best, stick with classic white to black greyscale and brown colours. This way your outfit will look cute and mature.
Now that you know how to dress and what outfits suit you the best, let’s have a look at how your behaviour should look like. Body language and good manners play a major role in how you are seen by people you meet and are involved with. A gentleman is always aware of his surroundings, takes the high road even when others will not, and is polite and respectful towards everyone around him.
2. First impressions
The first impression plays a big role when meeting new people. What most people do not realise is that the impressions you give of yourself during the first 20 seconds, and furthermore during the first meeting in full, tend to last. You can do a lot with a good posture (chin up, straight back and shoulders on your sides rather than hunching them forward), a firm handshake (a solid grip but not too hard, and eye contact during handshake), and clear articulation.
3. Be Confident
Confidence is something a lot of people look up to. Try to be as confident as you can about yourself. It helps if you are happy with yourself and know what you are going to do with your life for the next few years. You should always know what your options in life are for the next few years. You don’t necessarily need to be 100% sure about the road you are traveling, but it’s a major boost in your confidence to know your possibilities.
Conversations are something a gentleman needs to be able to handle. Have a few topics that you know something about on hand. The more topics you have, the better. Always be ready to learn more.
No one is perfect. It is hard to follow every rule and law ever made, but then again, that is not what being a gentleman is about. It’s about being respectful and polite to everyone around you. Following basic principles like not talking bad about your family or your girlfriend or even a casual lady friend to people outside your inner circle. Not smelling like the sewer system of your local town. Taking others into account and listening to them.
Think about setting an example for everyone affected by your life. Make sure to treat others as you would like to be treated, even if it sometimes means taking the high road. A man is only as good as his actions, and gentlemen represent the men who belong in the top tier in this category. Anyone can be a gentleman if they put their mind to it and try hard enough.
Basic Social Etiquette for Men from Day-to-Day Situations
The most necessary form of etiquette is also the easiest to master. How should a man behave in his daily life, from his walk to work, to dinner and drinks after?
Unsurprisingly, the way you behave when wining and dining with a potential love interest is going to be a bit different from how you conduct yourself when playing video games with your friends. In light of that, here are some key social settings and a handful of protocol pointers to help you be the best you in each one.
*In case you are meeting a lady over dinner or lunch, a gentleman will always offer to pay for the dinner in full if he is the one who invited the other person to come.
*Offer your date the seat with the best view, or whichever seat she/he wants for that matter.
*When eating with company, always remember to follow good table manners:
i. Put your phone away
ii. Avoid everything that is considered nasty: spitting, farting, burping, crotch grabbing and picking your nose.
iii. If you’re in a restaurant, treat service staff respectfully. Being rude to waiters and waitresses, even bad ones, is a dead giveaway that you are the wrong man. Your date will notice, and so will everyone else.
*Take the initiative in organising the first date. Few things are less sexy than asking: “So, what do you fancy doing?”
*Even if you can see instantly that a blind date is a blind alley, stick around for a couple of drinks at least. It won’t kill you, and they might be feeling the same.
*Message the day after a date, if not sooner. Even If it’s a disastrous one.
*Don’t leave more than a day between messages if you want the correspondence to continue.
*Avoid excessive cursing as it makes you seem less intelligent.
* Getting offended during a conversation is something that happens from time to time. When it happens to you, try not to make a scene out of it and subtly change the subject if possible. This way you avoid heated arguments and maintain your posture, leaving a more positive image of yourself.
Luckily, the foundations of good manners boil down to common sense and simply being a nice person. In short: engage your brain and take a moment to consider what consequences your words or actions might have.