From Despair to Hope
2023 was an interesting year; I was tested to the brink of total collapse in what could be described as “near-total” annihilation. But that journey did not start in 2023; it started way before then, right from my very early years, but 2023 was that make-or-break year. You can read the full story of this experience at www.thehubuteam.com. I joked that the only reason I am still breathing is because there is no lagoon in Abuja and I was too scared to go to hell.
Thankfully, after months of deep reflection, honest introspection, and humility, like a light bulb being switched on, I understood what the problem was. I could see how blind I had been all these years, even though I considered myself brilliant. My errors stood before me, and I could point out where and when I went wrong. That experience pushed me to curate The HUBU Journals, a book entitled The HUBU Journals: Why You Need Them, and The HUBU Monthly Planner (together called The HUBU Resource). I was determined to ensure nobody else went through an avoidable, painful ordeal.
The Eureka Moment
I understood the problem was my philosophy, outlook on life, and values. I realised that I studied to make a living and not to live. I did not have a strong enough “why” for what I did; I moved with the times and was not in control of myself. Events dictated my path, and I didn’t understand myself or my potential. I had a complete lack of self-awareness—a victim of fate!
I also discovered that most parents do not intentionally teach their children values and principles to live; they teach survival skills. Most of our life’s philosophies are crafted by other people’s experiences, culture, and what we see, and it is worse with social media. We are so distracted that we do not have time to introspect and discover ourselves for who we are.
Danger Ahead
I see the same pattern in this generation, dovetailing to social breakdown and gradual erosion of values, principles, and morals. Teenagers commit suicide because a romantic relationship ended, young adults are on drugs, some are incapable of self-expression, lack self-control, and many more vices. It was clear that the errors that almost led to my decimation are still as prevalent but more vicious.
The HUBU Team conducted research by asking simple philosophical questions to parents, teenagers, and young adults nationwide. The results were shocking! There is a huge misalignment between teenagers’ realities and parents’ expectations. The results of this survey can be found on www.thehubuteam.com.
The HUBU Resources were developed to address these issues by giving teenagers and young adults an alternative reality, empowering them to define who they are and determine the future they wish to have. It starts with creating a vision, setting goals, and establishing values to protect the vision. I discovered that without a vision, you cannot have goals; without goals, you cannot have values; without values, you are a drifter enslaved by emotions. Many people are governed by emotions and have no real sense of intentionality.
Louisville Girls’ Secondary School, Gwagwalada, to the Rescue
I set out on a mission to test my theory, and what better school to choose than a Catholic school with no-nonsense reverend sisters as administrators?
Louisville Girls’ Secondary School, Gwagwalada, Abuja, was the anointed one. The Catholic school, which has a reputation for discipline and academic excellence, offered to be the pilot school to put my thoughts and journals to the test. Following several long and hard conversations with the principal, the management team, and the guidance and counselling unit, a date was set to make a presentation to the parents at the Parents-Teachers Association (PTA) meeting. I had sessions with the senior and junior students on two successive Saturdays after the PTA meeting.
The PIA presentation was brief and a few parents came to ask questions. They all loved the idea; one parent wondered why it’s not yet in the curriculum. A few bought the journals for their children and for personal use. They all agreed that the current social climate requires urgent intervention. Some parents acknowledged they could do better with tool kits like this.
Overall, they loved the concept. I scaled the parent hurdle.
The next challenge was to meet the students who had been in school for over a month and yet to go on mid-term break!
Senior Students – Matured
I came in early the next Saturday to have a session with the senior students who were yet to have lunch. I was worried that they might not pay attention. I rearranged the chairs to give the large auditorium a more relaxed feel. They all listened to my life story and school escapades with rapt attention. They gasped when I told them how much money I had lost and the mistakes I made because I lacked certain values. I later introduced The HUBU Journals to them and they had a 30-minute break-out session to discuss the various values and principles in the journals. I was surprised at how engaged they were as they deliberated.
After the break-out session, we reconvened to discuss what we have learnt. The results are amazing; they refined generosity, love, patience, adaptability and many other principles. Many students were introduced to certain icons for the first time like Princess Diana, Anne Frank and other people of note. One student said this was the first external meeting she didn’t have to sleep and many other funny comments. I guessed they said that to make me feel good.
There was a mini-debate and the winner got a free HUBU Jour-nal, while the runners-up got free HUBU Monthly Planners.
Overall they had fun, learnt something new and were exposed to a new concept; the art of journaling for self-discovery and unleashing their potential. Almost everyone wanted a journal.
Junior Students – Full of life; Eager to Learn
The next weekend was for the junior secondary school. I was worried when I saw them. I thought to myself, that maybe I should have stuck to the senior girls as they seemed too young to comprehend what I was going to say. Surprisingly, I found them more engaging than the senior students. They asked questions, they listened, they loved the stories, they also went late for lunch and they all wanted the journals. Many requested that I contact their parents directly, and others suggested that I stock the school shop with The HUBU Resources. Although we didn’t have break-out sessions because of time constraints, we had a mini-debate and they chose a winner. For some odd reason, I gave the tinniest girl the grand prize. While we were taking photographs, a girl slipped a note into my hand and asked me not to open it till I got out of the premises. I promised them that subject to meeting certain conditions, I would come once a month for twelve months to teach how to effectively use the journals.
Jss Students The Note!!
Heartwarming Experience & Assessment Report
It was a heartwarming experience and it confirmed my thoughts;
Our children are eager to learn about life, but we unconsciously kill that curiosity.
We make them focus on reading to pass exams while in school and focus less on their holistic development.
Many students do not have a long-term plan or vision for themselves; they are in school because their parents say so.
They lack a sense of self-identity and awareness, hence they fall for any entertaining distraction.
Parents have over-shielded them from the realities of life and they are naive.
They yearn to understand what life is all about and want to know much more than we are willing to expose them to.
Some students from the class groups come to me to discuss personal problems with me; they yearn for deeper relationships with parents and guardians.
We assume they are not smart enough to understand life and treat them as children, they feel insulted.
I had a short conversation with a student who just graduated senior secondary school on life, vision, goals and philosophy. We spoke for over 45 minutes after which he thanked me saying that no one had ever spoken to him this way before. The idea he had of himself was that he was too young to have serious conversations.
Our assumption about our children has to change, we need to begin to accord them the respect they deserve by equipping them with life resources capable of positively impacting their minds and developing their emotions.
The HUBU Journals and the other resources are a fantastic resource to help teenagers introspect, discover themselves and ask the right questions. They are flexible and could be used for counselling, mentoring and family bonding sessions. The journals were curated from a “near death” experience driven by passion.
Learn to Live and not Just Make a Living
I believe that while formal education & skill acquisition is of utmost importance to survive or to make a living, there is a need to expose through experience, history and storytelling on how to live. Making a living is about working skills but living is based on values.
No matter how skilled an individual is, without proper values, a good life might be an illusion.
We have seen brilliant people die of drug abuse, the wealthy die of depression, young people die of heart attack, seemingly happy people commit suicide and many more. We are witnessing homes being destroyed and families shattered. All these issues are not skill or formal education-related, they reflect a dearth in values, principles and morals. The corruption we fight in Nigeria today is a consequence of broken values and if left unchecked, there might not be a future to look forward to.
No matter how, in our little way, let us expose our children to the realities of life through the right philosophies so they can stand up to whatever challenges they face with dignity and honour. That was the purpose of The HUBU Team’s visit to Louisville Girls Secondary School Gwagwalada, Abuja. It was an experience.
Thank You-
I want to say a big thank you to Sister Veronica SSL, Principal LGSSA for the opportunity and warm reception. For the records, all the students in LGSSA scored 200+ in the last UTME exams, an indication of the level of commitment to academic excellence, they also strive to maintain and expand on morals and principles. They believe in The HUBU Vision and have decided to partner with the HUBU Team
