Good morning, my darlings
Today I simply want to talk about the abashment and stigmatisation related to mental health, especially amongst married couples.
Firstly, mental health encompasses emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It influences cognition, perception, and behaviour. It also determines how an individual handles stress, interpersonal relationships, and decision-making.
So basically, if one’s mental health is not stable or under a good condition, it affects an individual’s ability to relate better with other individuals.
The four types of mental health disorders are:
1. Mood disorders (such as depression or bipolar disorder)
2. Anxiety disorders.
3. Personality disorders
4. Psychotic disorders (such as schizophrenia)
Though I am not a health practitioner by profession, I will simply touch this topic on the surface and apply it to how I personally believe untreated mental health conditions have led many into different sorts of unfortunate behaviour, and these include the following:
1. Drug abuse
2. Loss of interest about life
3. Eating disorders is a double-edged sword in the sense that people find solace in food, especially junk food, which in the long run exposes one to unwanted and preventable diseases such as obesity, hypertension, diabetes Type II, or it could take another turn to be a person refraining from eating in a drastically unhealthy way leading to anorexia and other related illnesses.
4. Having suicidal tendencies
6. Losing interest in relationships, such as friendship, courtship, and even matrimony.
7. Having anger management issues, etc.
Notwithstanding, I simply want to apply this subject matter, particularly on how it affects spouses and their matrimonial homes if left untreated.
Personally, I want to use myself as a point of reference here.
I have personally been battling with my mental health for one reason or the other. I have particularly been battling with mood disorders, anxiety and personality disorders…in the sense that I was severely depressed which caused me to become uninterested in life, and give up on my goals and things that made me happy and alive. I simply gave up on myself and my future in entirety. I was mainly a walking corpse who was simply waiting for her time to die. There was a time I dreaded waking up at all. I wished I would simply just somehow peacefully take my last breath in sleep; I was that miserable.
I also battled with anxiety in the sense that I was completely and utterly encapsulated with the notion of people coming closer to me to simply hurt me, betray me, take advantage of me or simply take my kindness and compassion for granted, because I had been limitlessly misconstrued, accused, used, deceived, coerced and hypnotised in all ways possible by both genders who came as friends or admirers. This made me push people away and simply decided to live in a vacuum with no friends, no partners in crime, no confidants and simply no one. It made me feel alone, because the one person whose acknowledgment of my situation I needed made me even more depressed, for that one person from whom I needed warmth, love, empathy and kindness ridiculed my mental health and even laughed at it, saying, “It’s simply something induced and what the high-class citizens believe in; if you were in a village you wouldn’t know about mental health or even say you’re depressed or battling a mental health disorder.”
That utter denial and ridiculing of my pain made me sink into an abyss of darkness, hopelessness and unfathomable anger.
That was when I developed “the anger management issue.”
I simply became highly irritable, short-fused and moody. I would talk loudly, snap at everyone and anyone when irritated, and burst into tears at the slightest excuse. I was simply a ticking bomb. The longer my mental health condition was left unacknowledged, the more depressed I became.
So basically, what I want to say in essence is that mental health is extremely important and should not be taken lightly. I have seen how it took a toll on my life for years, and I was ashamed to come out and admit I was not okay, to admit I needed help, to admit it’s okay not to be okay, to admit I’m simply human as well.
That is why I want to urge you all to never feel ashamed to admit you need help, never allow anyone to ridicule you for your pain; it says more about them than about you.
Never suffer in silence, because in all honesty we all are walking tragedies at some point in life; everyone you meet is an overflowing ocean of calm tides and raging tsunamis, but don’t be a person who hugs despair and hopelessness. Don’t allow it to take a toll on your life for too long, to come in between your relationships with people, be it your friends, your fiancé or spouse.
Please don’t give up on yourself, don’t allow your cowardice to affect an innocent person, because the more you conceal your situation, the more you sink into an abyss, the more difficult you become to your loved ones – and they don’t deserve it. Everyone deserves to be loved, cared for, honoured, cherished, seen and heard by their beloved partners,
In addition, we should try as much as possible not to be instigators, influencers or drivers of any human’s cause of grief, pain, melancholy or hopelessness. We should try to be ambassadors of love, peace, unity, humility and immeasurable humanity.
Let’s never forget we are humans who are only better than each other if one’s humanity, compassion and empathy is more than the others.
I always say this, life is too short for me to be anything I do not want to be. That is why I am strongly opinionated and some may call me stubborn, but I always stand for what I believe in and who I believe in, irrespective of anyone’s acts of coercion.
So, I urge you all to live your lives the way you all want, (but be conscious of God) be happy, love, and live in the moment! Be in love, taste love, taste the fire of passion, never hold back, never be ashamed to spoil your spouse with love in all the ways you could healthily express.
Shut your ears to those naysayers who feel they have, or should have, a voice in the way you choose to live your life. Live freely; never live in a vacuum, be focused, work hard and never give up on yourself nor your dreams. Let the sky be your limit. Make sure you prove to the world you are simply not just any weak human; you are tenacious, relentless, powerful, pure, beautiful and worthy of love irrespective of your looks, your age or gender. You are worthy of love, my darling! Because you are special and unique in your own way.
So, fight depression today, say enough is enough! Reach out to a professional licensed therapist, try to heal and never give up on yourself, because you are all you’ve got.
Cheers to deciding to obliterate being a victim of mental health anymore.
May God bless you all and your relationships. AMEN