The desire to write this story came from watching the video of one of my friends asking me if I could believe how our lives turned out in the United States.
How kwanu? Believe what? Everything happening now is like a dream. I constantly pinch myself to see if I am awake.
Thinking back, knowing our trials and tribulations, there was no way I would have imagined that things would eventually work out. The challenges were too numerous. Many times, I contemplated returning to Nigeria where I had support. But then, what support? A country that many could not see beyond my disabilities.
This picture shows our two sons as we left our familiar fatherland, with two suitcases each. The older was less than two years old, the younger six months old.
As for me, I came as a real ajaebo with one leg. Chai! When I look back, I don’t even know what we were thinking.
“Shebi head de pain us ni?
It was the lure of that Green Card Lottery that confused us. We thought the country inviting us would make proper arrangements for us. For where? You were on your own but, at least, it was the land of the free. No one pointed at me, nor stared as I limped around.
On that fateful day of August 1996, we packed our eight suitcases in total, with these adorable babies and started our journey to the unknown. If I had known what was ahead, we would not have made that journey. Life was not bad for us in Nigeria. There was no need to leave, or so I thought.
At first, wise Tony Iro was suggesting one person should go first, I did not want to hear that. That is how someone’s thing can suddenly belong to another person, or maybe we would have been embroiled in some DNA wahala. Thank God!
On arriving in New York on that fateful day, I remember my husband watching me and saying “Alarm go blow O!.” How are we going to live in the Lord’s land with two children, when you have never taken care of the children? You have never changed a diaper. In Nigeria, we had maids, cooks/stewards and drivers.
It was on that same day I resolved to shock myself and every other person. That night, I changed my first diaper. Going forward, my mind was in constant turmoil.
“What am I doing here?” I wondered daily.
Life in New York was not fun o! I decided to go and visit my sister in Dallas and the rest is history.
Not such a pleasant history, either. Finding where to keep the boys so we could both work was a big issue; staying at home and being a baby nurse was a bigger one.
Everywhere we applied for work then with our Law degrees, we were told we were over-qualified.
I was frustrated. From two children, before you knew it, Oga has scored two more goals. He said when things do not work out, a man reaches for the familiar. That was how our double wahala became quadruple wahala with steroids. Many times, I forgot my own name.
No counsel or prayer could bring me comfort. Every day, I asked myself if this was the same Chinwe?
Somehow, we found a way to keep living through the days. We were not sure of anything. We could not think beyond the present as the future was too far. Like my Igbo people will say: echi etaka (tomorrow is too far)
One day, we woke up and the boys had become men! All those promises God made became reality.
Where did the time go?
Who are these men, bikonu?
They are too big to be my sons. I am still a small girl o!
What advice will I give to anyone considering moving?
Pray for wisdom first.
Set your priorities right.
Learn every trade.
Move with modest expectations.
Be flexible.
Take your identity with you.
Never forget where you come from.
Do not stop dreaming and believing.
Welcome change.
Be patient.
Do not look back.
You can make it!
Be Enabled!
Chi Chi Iro is a lawyer, health coach, minister, motivational speaker, author, wife and mother of four sons. Chi Chi has successfully lived her entire life with cerebral palsy and she uses her stories to motivate others to live challenged lives to the fullest. She is the CEO of Enabled Life Organisation. She lives in Allen, Texas, with her husband, Tony, their four adult sons and from there she writes.
www.theenabledlife.org
