“It is dreadfully tedious to be obliged to listen to poetry, even when it has been composed in one’s honour. But in another– oh, Kit, you won’t understand, but to be three- and- forty, and still be able to attract foolish boys, is such a comfort!” ― Georgette Heyer, False Colours
When it comes to scandals that supposedly rock the pants off society, women dating younger men seems to be it. In a world where in this current century we should be all encompassing and tolerant of people’s desires and preferences (well except paedophiles and perverted criminals), the notion that a woman of a certain elevated age daring to seek greener, younger and definitely studier passions is seen as a crime. Ah, the juicy scandal tropes certainly dazzle and tickle our tummies. Society, like any very badly behaved nosy neighbour peering through the curtains (without being tactful about it), seems to have quite the problem with it. Yet, when the tables supposedly turn, and men are dating younger women, the applause is louder than a standing ovation at a political rally where money is being shared (well, let’s not lie… anywhere money is being shared deserves an applause). Well, as always, if you are new to reading any article I have written, welcome to that article section that gives you alternative insights and perspectives into daily societal cases and issues, while teaching you how to either appreciate scenarios or possibly prevent them. To the old, having you here is definitely always a plus. So let’s dive right into it, shall we? Let us dive into the working wonders of why people unfortunately object to a woman’s younger preference, the negative blowbacks faced, the positive outcomes that can develop from it as well as how to do better in not berating her for her choice.
“You’re only as old as your boy toy…” ― Vanessa Kincaid
Some may be asking what a cougar is and why it is used so often in referring to women who date younger men. First of all, a cougar is a kind of cat, well a very large cat, a very pretty one at that which can be found in certain parts of the world, while in terms of humans, it refers to an older woman seeking a sexual relationship with a younger man. From Madonna, Cher, Demi Moore, Prinyaka Chopra-Jonas, Gabrielle Union, Eva Mendes, Mariah Carey, Lisa Bonet, Shakira, Heidi Klum. Minakorea and so many other star-studded women have been known to dip and often times stay in the younger pool (I must admit there is something blissfully intoxicating and empowering watching an age elevated woman tame a hot young blooded man). Women like them are often called Cougars, but I like to refer to them as empowered women who are confident enough to have any man (especially the younger kind). For centuries women have always been courted, chased, loved and lusted over by younger men, men who prefer women way above their age grade. This really is not a new trend or spontaneous combustion that has occurred; the difference is that, as always, thanks to social media today, this is now more open to public scrutiny and conversation, rather than something more private and away from societal glare.
“Variety is overrated, honey. Regardless of what your country club friends say, most women just want to find a decent guy who can inspire lust now and again.” ― Donna McDonald, Dating A Cougar
For any societal topic, there will always be the pros and cons that people side with or have difficulty understanding. I, for one, believe there is nothing too complicated in accepting one’s sexual or love preference as far as it hurts no one. However, thank God for moral compasses; where I draw the absolute line is unreasonable and sick reasons to step out of line in the bid to persuade others of their preferences (if you know, you know). So, let us humbly venture into this perplexing double standard and explore five societal issues that may plague women daring to date younger men. Alongside that, we will of course uncover ten unexpected benefits that make cougars roar as well as dominate beautifully regardless of societal judgement. Prepare for a dose of wit, sarcasm, and you already know.
1. The Cougar Controversy
Oh, the moral panic when a vibrant and confident woman decides to date a sprightly young lad! Society loves slapping labels on women, especially those who dare to defy age-old notions of who they should date. Terms like “cougar”, “panther” and, in rare, cases “venus traps” are thrown around, as if dating younger men is some sort of unspeakable sin, instead of a personal choice.
2. Are You Not Too Old?
Society seems to have this ridiculous idea that age disparity equals a power struggle in relationships. Yet, when older prowlers sweep younger ladies off their feet, it’s seen as a romantic gesture. What’s with the double standard? Women are perfectly capable of choosing their partners based on compatibility, not societal expectations, and if they happen to be younger, so what?
3. Cultural Conditioning
From fairy tales to Hollywood blockbusters, we’ve been conditioned to see older men as saviours and younger women as damsels in distress (Thank God my father raised me and my sisters to be our own knights). Anything that deviates from this archaic script sends shockwaves through society. Why can’t we rewrite the narrative and embrace the beauty of older women and their sexy, younger counterparts?
4. Judgement and Gossip
When women courageously and publicly embrace their desires and step out with their younger cubs, tongues start wagging faster than a dog on steroids chasing a truck, fuelled by society’s insatiable gossip machine. Everyone suddenly turns into Sherlock Holmes or Batman ( I mean if they can solve relationship matters that are clearly none of their business, they might as well join the police force and solve actual crimes…what a waste of talent), dissecting the relationship and speculating about ulterior motives. Let’s focus on what truly matters: love, connection, and mutual respect.
5. The Celebrity Circus
Turn on the TV or open a tabloid magazine, and you’ll be bombarded with headlines like “Real Housewife Snags Young Hunk!” or “Age-Defying Actress Dating a Boy Toy!”
Society thrives on sensationalising relationships, particularly those involving famous women. It’s time to stop peddling fairytales and embrace the diversity of love in all its forms (except for the ones that clearly must be jailed).
10. Benefits Of Dating Younger Men
“Cougar is crass; I prefer the term cub whisperer.”
Now that we have essentially cleared the ruffled feathers of negativity, let’s dive further into the ten fabulous benefits of women dating younger men, defying societal expectations
1. Rejuvenating energy
Younger partners can infuse life into relationships, providing energy, excitement, and a fresh perspective. Who needs a midlife crisis when you have a charming young companion to keep you on your toes (or, hmm, on your back)?
2. Boundless adventure
Younger partners often come with a thirst for adventure and exploration. Say goodbye to mundane routines and hello to spontaneous road trips, exhilarating experiences, and pushing your comfort zones, or in some cases say hello to needing a personal oxygen tank and a walking stick because it would be spontaneous moments of lost breath and jello legs (I hear a lot of AMENs from the ladies reading this).
3. Boosting confidence
Dating a younger man can boost a woman’s confidence, reinforcing her desirability and reminding her that age is just a number. Bask in the admiration of your adoring young suitor and revel in your own radiance. And it can boost his confidence as well, because you are a catch of the top tier kind!
4. Breaking stereotypes
By defying age norms, you become a trailblazer. Show others that love knows no bounds! Who needs societal expectations when you can leave them in the dust and redefine what it means to be in a fulfilling relationship?
5. Shared interests
Despite the age difference, shared passions and interests can bridge the gap. Discover new hobbies, explore mutual hobbies, and fuel your relationship with a flourishing connection.
6. Body positivity
Younger partners often celebrate and appreciate their more mature counterparts’ bodies in all their beauty, defying societal ideals of youthful perfection. Embrace your natural self and let them admire every curve and wrinkle (in the words of John Mayer…your body is a wonderland).
7. Growth and resilience
Navigating an intergenerational relationship allows both partners to grow and learn from each other’s experiences. Your combined wisdom can create a resilient bond that withstands the tests of time (if you want it to).
8. Enhanced communication
A younger partner introduces a fresh communication style, blending technology and traditional forms of connection. Embrace texting, memes, and emojis as additional tools to express love and affection. 9. Forward-thinking Mentality
Younger partners often have a more progressive outlook on life, challenging outdated norms and facilitating personal growth. Embrace their forward-thinking nature and embark on a journey of enlightenment together.
10. Unconditional love
When two people connect on a deep level, age becomes insignificant. Mutual love, respect and support form the bedrock of a healthy relationship. Who cares what society thinks when you’ve found your missing puzzle piece?
Conclusion
“Sure I date men much younger, I would rather be a babysitter than a nurse…”
An insightful Nollywood production was recently aired on youtube (yes I watched a Nollywood production, I can hear the gasp of surprise from those who know me) called Thirty to Thirty-One starring Bimbo Ademoye and Eso Dike, and produced by Omoni Oboli. The story revolves around a workaholic who falls in love with her executive assistant, who happens to be a year younger than her. Here we are given insight into the fears and worries as well as challenges faced when society (or in this case his mother) objects to their future union. But there’s one factor a lot of people may have missed out on, not just in this production but in life as well: he wanted her first. Not all women go on the prowl, looking for younger men; most of these men actively seek these women out and you cannot blame them for indulging (because, honestly, who turns down a free buffet).
It is beyond crazy that society’s baffling intolerance for women dating younger men is marinated in double standards, judgement, and archaic norms. However, the benefits of such relationships for women are plentiful (hmm, and very blissful).We must learn to dismiss the labels and embrace the freedom to choose love based on connection, shared interests, and mutual respect. Remember, love knows no age, and it certainly doesn’t require society’s approval to flourish. So, dear readers, especially the damsels who are fearlessly pursuing (or, it is pursuing them, to each her own) love and let your heart guide the way. Till next time, bye!
