“Accountability is a woman’s kryptonite. She will avoid it at all costs even when the evidence is stacked up against her.”-Unknown (but I am suspecting the author is a man!)
Ok, Happy international Women’s Day(IWD) for what it is worth.
Another year had rolled by, and we are at another IWD. This year’s theme is ‘Count her in: Accelerating gender equality through economic empowerment.’ Another mouthful theme. Last year I summed up how I felt about IWD stating that we really did not have much to celebrate with how far we have come. For starters, what did the future look like? Unfortunately, this year I am here again with the same theme resonating in my write-up. To count her in, we need to review our midterm review-charity must begin at home by taking stock of what we have done so far and the role we have played in ensuring that we are depositing what we are demanding. So how do WE count her in?
Yes feminists, crusaders and followers will attempt to drag me for this but the great thing is that they have their constitutional right to express themselves and so do I *wide grin* -what we don’t have the right to do is bully the other.
As human beings the general idea is that we are all equal. However, even life shows us that that is not true. We have rich people, wealthy human beings, poor ones (who will always be with us). Middle class and guess what? In all these categorisations, we probably were classmates-exposed to the same opportunities to learn but that’s where the equality ended. Our lives took on different trajectories-let us not forget those who come from old money with some juicy trust funds. I didn’t get any! Even society stratifies us-first class, business class, premium economy, economy-at every point a stratification is in place to put your human equality in place. George Orwell in his iconic book, ‘Animal Farm’ sets this off nicely-“all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others” Need I say more? Yes, equality is in terms of rights. I agree rich or poor our fundamental human rights are the same across board. This goes for the genders too- man or woman-fundamental human rights is blind to your genitalia; you are a human being and have rights that are enforceable! But when we decide to break down the human into gender whichever way the narrative wants to spiel about this, there is no magic in the world that will make a man and woman equal. Our differences are meant to be complimentary. We live in a world that is hellbent on merging the genders so that I guess the application of equality will be seamless. However, we are toying with something that is above our pay grade. This is a conversation for another day. Addressing equity among women first this is where to start.
What we need to count her in is EQUITY-fairness. She is bold, standing, speaking her truth, seen, heard and treated fairly. She does not need to be a masculine female or a she-he to be seen and treated equally. She’s already equal, she just needs fairness.
Mentorship is a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. It is especially important for women, who often face unique challenges and barriers in their careers and lives. By mentoring other women, we can share our experiences, insights, and skills, and help them achieve their goals and aspirations.
Passing down knowledge as women to other women is also a way of preserving and celebrating our culture, history, and identity. We can learn from the stories and wisdom of the women who came before us, and honor their legacy by passing it on to the next generation, we create new knowledge and innovations by building on history.
It is also not only beneficial for the individual, but also for the society and the world. It can foster a sense of community, solidarity, and empowerment among women, and challenge the stereotypes and inequalities that limit our potential. It can also contribute to the advancement of various fields and sectors, and address the issues and needs that affect women.
Mentorship and passing down knowledge is a vital and valuable practice that we should embrace and promote to count her in.
Women are often taught rather subliminally to compete with each other, to compare themselves to others, and to feel insecure about their own worth and abilities. “Is it not your mates that are getting A-star, why are you getting A?? Can’t you see how Rahseedah does it? Is it not your mates that are driving Maybach GLS 600? When will you be a bride and not a bridesmaid? Have you seen how much weight Tosin has lost?” and the messages go on and and on. This leads to inferiority complex, envy, jealousy, resentment, and hostility among women, undermining their self-esteem, happiness, and success.
However, supporting each other as women is a much better and healthier way of living and relating to count her in. By doing that, we:
– Celebrate our diversity and uniqueness, and appreciate the strengths and talents of each woman.
– Empower ourselves and each other and encourage the pursuit of our dreams and goals.
– Learn from each other, and share our knowledge, skills, and resources.
– Create a network of support, friendship, and solidarity, and help each other overcome challenges and difficulties.
– Advocate for our rights and interests and raise our voices against injustice and discrimination.
Supporting each other is not only good for ourselves, but also for society and the world. It can foster a culture of respect, cooperation, and harmony among women, and challenge the patriarchal and sexist norms that oppress and marginalize us. It can also contribute to the advancement of various fields and sectors and address the issues and needs that affect women.
4. Think like a man. (set a thief to catch a thief)
I had a problem at a point about being asked to think like a man but I took a step back to analyse the statement and it really just meant being logical. Men think from their heads, women from their hearts and decisions made emotionally can be very costly and I guess that is why we are admonished to think logically for our own good to forge ahead. Whichever we want to cut it, men are still in the driver’s seat and if we want to negotiate equity for ourselves then we need to learn to speak their language. So to count her in with no drama, just facts.
Women understand the power of a community or rather understood the power of a connected community. These were the shoulders our mothers stood on to help them raise children while remaining relevant especially at work and their careers. This has become so fragmented that the communities we have now are more for optics, grants, symbolism rather than the heart of it. We must go back to the heart of what our communities were about before we can count her in. The heart of communities was care, nurture, discipline and for everyone.
6. The dark side of economic empowerment and creating balance.
Women earn more now, have better access to opportunities, have more freedom to express their ‘new’ found empowerment. This gave rise to the alpha, strong, independent woman and a generation of men that are not equipped to handle this female archetype. From time immemorial, women have been powerful, just in a subtle way that took a longer time to manifest and was usually a cloak and dagger approach; not that this has changed but now the woman’s power is more potent. This is not a problem per say but we need to reevaluate, whether this messes with the order of things that we did not put in place and therefore might just be bungling it with our human flawed wisdom. Now the woman has all this power, the men are ill-equipped and frightened and staying away and the primal need kicks in for women who despite all her accomplishments just want a mate that she can share all this with. Next stop to count her in:teaching each other how to balance the new with the ingrained.
To Count her in we have to start at home-with ourselves holding each other accountable first.
