“You can love someone so much, but you can never love people as much as you can miss them.” — John Green
When it comes to being dumped, ghosted, heart broken, left in the solitary cold, there is no shame in admitting you did not handle it well (hard guy hard guy… my brother and sister just cry please). As humans we unfortunately have to ( well not really) it seems like being an adult and going through the growing pain rite of passage, you must step or be thrown into the fiery bushes of tears, sniffles as well as occasional screaming while cursing through hiccups …by being served the ultimate breakfast of a broken heart.
Now while I understand that most people will sing good riddance to bad nonsense (while drawing their sorrows with whiskey or ice cream…to each his/her own), we still must admit not every break up was caused by nonsense neither was the person you left (or left you) nonsense. Some people unfortunately are too insecure to be in a relationship simply because they refused to let go of previous baggage (old wounds heal yet scars are very visible). Their lack of trust and faith in the mere possibility that the next person would not hurt them is completely broken, some even simply cheat because hey what’s the worst that could happen (till it actually happens), some believe whatever will be and unintentionally sabotage the relationship, while bear with this excuse I find ridiculous (you should be flogged in the market square for it): they either ghost you ( the art of disappearing without a word…at least even Casper and the gang had the decency to still communicate) or they say “it’s not you it’s me’’ ( my person in unseriousness why did you even bother to drag someone’s child in the mud, especially when that person showed you their soul, let us just agree that Sango is doing press up waiting for you).
What is this breakfast one keeps mentioning you may ask… it is simply HEARTBREAK, the one annoying gift no one asks for yet that annoying gift, gladly keeps on giving – or taking, depending on how you look at it. As one tries to skillfully navigate the treacherous waters of a breakup, you may ultimately find yourself wondering if there is ever going to be some sort of healing light at the end of the tunnel. Fear not, for in the midst of emotional chaos, there lies both wreckage and redemption ( hard to believe I know). Well as always, if you are new to reading any article I have written…welcome to that article section that gives you alternative insights and perspectives into daily societal cases and issues, while teaching you how to either appreciate scenarios or possibly prevent them. To the old, having you here is definitely always a plus. So let’s dive right into it shall we? Let us dive into the ridiculous and sometimes healing wonders of why people unfortunately have to be left heart broken BREAKUPS: THE CONSEQUENCES OF BREAKFAST. This will definitely be served hot or cold, let your mind decide!
Positive Benefits of a Breakup
“Sadness flies away on the wings of time.” — Jean De La Fontaine
Crazy right but yes there are alot of positive attributes to a breakfast served be it hot or cold. As much as you might hate the concept it does have its redeeming qualities. Think of this as school for breakfast collectors…quick learning and understanding. Most of it may sound cliche but maybe it is the cliche you need to wipe the snot and be whole again. Let’s start shall we?
Self-Discovery: Ah, the age-old “finding yourself” phase. Breakups are the perfect excuse to embark on a journey of self-discovery. Who knew you had a hidden talent for interpretive art, anime or enjoying food textures? Perfect time to reinvent yourself for better! Change your hairstyle or colour, redecorate your living space, change your wardrobe, get a tattoo or even a piercing, or start a new running- the possibilities are endless.
Freedom: No more compromising on what to watch on Netflix or whose family to visit on holidays. Tip toeing around sensitivities of if it is safe to fart, burp or be gross in a cute way! Embrace the freedom to be unapologetically you, sweatpants and all.
Time for Friends: Remember those mysterious creatures you used to call friends? Reconnect with them over brunch, hiking trips, or impromptu karaoke nights. Learn to indulge in old treats with those who simply adored you for you!
Personal Growth: Breakups are like a crash course in personal growth and resilience. Dust off your once clouded emotional armour and emerge stronger, wiser, and more prepared for the next heartbreak life throws your way (Oh Lord I pray you actually do not go through it again…).
Better Relationship Skills: Failed relationships are like crash courses in what not to do in a partnership. Learn from your mistakes, nurture hobbies and talents, understand your limitations as well as tolerance levels, hone your communication skills, and emerge from the breakup oven as a relationship fluffy bread, instead of burnt toast ready to mingle and wiggle happily into the next chapter of your romantic life.
Negative Impacts of a Breakup:
“Every time your heart is broken, a doorway cracks open to a world full of new beginnings, new opportunities.”
— Patti Roberts
I can almost hear the “finally she is speaking our language’’ in this section. Yes it is a language but why dwell in it when it hurts? Yet let us discuss and outline it shall we!
Emotional Turmoil: Breakups can feel like an emotional tornado tearing through your heart, leaving a path of destruction in its wake (in some cases the term destruction is used mildly..think tornado wrapped in a twister, shoved in a tsunami while attached to a nuclear warhead launched into space). The rollercoaster of emotions – sadness, anger, loneliness – can take a toll on your mental health.
Self-Doubt: It’s hard not to question your self-worth when someone you care about decides they no longer want to be with you (this is such an underestimated feeling because the mental harm it causes can make you feel like the living dead). Self-doubt can creep in, whispering cruel lies about your value and desirability.
Loneliness: So this is a double edge sword, because on one hand it is very comfortable to bask in loneliness without worrying about another person or what they think of you, while on the other side of this sharp blade…it can be crushing defeat to one’s soul. The sudden absence of your partner can leave a gaping hole in your life, echoing with loneliness and longing (especially if they were the ones who convinced you to let your gerd down…those ones have a special whip in hell for them). The silence that once felt comforting now feels beyond suffocating.
Loss of Routine: Saying goodbye to a relationship also means saying goodbye to the routines and habits you once shared with your partner. The loss of structure and familiarity can leave you feeling adrift in a sea of uncertainty.
Trust Issues: Trust, once broken, can be difficult to repair. a lot of us unfortunately fall into his bracket. Everyone starts looking like a waste of time, a thief of joy or someone just out to get you (yes the paranoia gets very real) The scars left by betrayal or infidelity can haunt future relationships, making it challenging to open your heart to new possibilities.
Clearly there are a lot more such as Financial Stress, Social Isolation, Uncertain Future as so much more. If we tried to go through them all, I might as well write a book on it! Where the future once seemed full of promise and possibility, unfortunately now it feels like a blank canvas waiting for a new masterpiece to emerge. The uncertainty of what comes next can be daunting and overwhelming.
Effects of a Breakfast
“When we are in love, we are convinced nobody else will do. But as time goes, others do do, and often do do, much much better.”
— Coco J. Ginger
Women
Ice Cream Stock Skyrocketing: One undeniable effect of a breakup for a woman is the sudden surge in ice cream consumption. Every ice cream must think they struck gold every time a relationship ends (personally I immerse myself in Kdrama, The Kdrama OSTS, The Cdramas and OSTS, anime and documentaries rather than eat anything). Apart from businesses being grateful for your hard earned tears, most women effectively become better (very often bitter) resisting the urge to be her little demon self because of the funny quote “in order to get over someone you need to get under one’’. A woman tends to cry it out immediately and heal faster because she really doesn’t have time to waste.
Men
Out and About: When a man goes through a breakup, you can bet the clubs, lounges and the likes suddenly become his most trusted companions. Nothing says “healing” like a perfectly cold beer or a shot or ten of whiskey accompanied by a side of brooding over lost love (unless you are a little demon and keep on with your usual tricks) while your friends keep telling you there are plenty fish in the sea and try to get you under (literally) another woman. Most men often act tough and seemingly happy for a while, but as time progresses and they suddenly realise the choices made, they seem to suddenly age and feel the heart gutting effects of a break up, while often(opinions here are relative) embarking on indulgent habits to forget her and that can be dangerous if he has trigger happy friends around him.
Conclusion
“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
— Alfred Lord Tennyson
Whether drowning sorrows in sweet treats (cough cough or other people because treats are relative right?), conquering the DIY world (s), or seeking solace in the bubbles of a cool beer; both men and women will always find unique ways to navigate the snake and crocodile infested waters of post-breakup life.
We must recognise that breakups are a mixed bag of emotional chaos and personal growth. While the negative impacts can feel like a heavy weight dragging you down, the positive benefits offer a glimmer of hope and redemption. Remember, dear reader, that amidst the supposed wreckage of a failed relationship lies the opportunity for reinvention, self-discovery, and personal growth. So while you reinvent yourself and bask in much needed self love, remember to embrace the rollercoaster ride of breakup-induced emotional turmoil, knowing that on the other side lies a stronger, wiser, and more resilient version of yourself. So till next time…Read you later! Bye!
