“Online dating is like online shopping except you’re looking for people no one wants, and it’s $50 a month.” – Phil Pivnick.
From Bumble, Tinder, Bumpy, Afro introductions, Okcupid, International cupid and the endless mind numbing list of online dating apps, it may look like single people have a decadent array of human options to pick from till you realise you are swirling in a pool of either recycled humans, damaged hearts, broken minds, ridiculous ego, etc, (and unfortunately this does not exclude the married ones) who are either bored or looking for a quick lay. With most options primarily being a headache to find a worthy spouse (psst, you need to be worthy too, good worthy not delusional worthy), being single now feels like a consistent tug of war with your sanity. Let us be honest; regardless of what kind of dating battles occur, dating in the modern world can be exhilarating (think kid in the candy store…but bodies cut to your desired perfection) but, of course, often overwhelming experience. Since the explosion of dating apps and online platforms, it seems like the dating landscape has transformed into a turbulent sea of hydras and mammoth flesh eaters, making many, especially women, opt for the solace of the single life.
Well, as always, if you are new to reading any article I have written, welcome to that article section that gives you alternative insights and perspectives into daily societal issues, while teaching you how to either appreciate scenarios or possibly prevent them. To the old, having you here is definitely always a plus. So let’s dive right into it, shall we? Let us dive into the working wonders of surviving the single life through the eyes of apps and online platforms, the highs, the lows and hair pulling situations that make you question: TO SWIPE OR NOT TO SWIPE:A SINGLE’S DILEMMA
NB: As much as we love to think deeply, see things from a different perspective while giving ourselves the opportunity to learn more, do more and be more, with regards to dating and thriving within the open yet crazy world of dating online, by exploring the trials and tribulations of apps, focusing on why more people are finding comfort in being single rather than diving headfirst into the supposedly tainted dating pool, it is, and always will be, important that we shed light on the importance of leveraging dating apps while remaining vigilant about security concerns (because serial killers and downright nasty people do exist and use these seemingly harmless platforms to prowl for prey).This is not to scare you but to help you!
The Single Life vs. the Dating Pool:
“If we meet offline, and you look nothing like your pics, you’re buying me drinks until you do.” – Unknown.
When you think of dating, the first thing that may cross your mind is a rat or hamster stuck in a very complicated maze with different levels of a Minotaur (google will be your best friend). It’s no secret that today’s dating pool can be a challenging place to navigate. While it may offer endless opportunities to connect with potential spouses or partners, it also brings its own set of aspirin-non-curing headaches, the first always being unnecessary societal expectations surrounding relationships, to find “The One,” while the dastardly fear of heartbreak can intensify these challenges. From being the bridesmaid or groomsman and never the bride or groom, to cuddling pillows every night, watching K-dramas that cause your heart to bleed and eyes to water, to being the third wheel during outings or, if you are African, every event is an opportunity for people to ask “when will you marry” or “say do not worry it will be your turn one day” (honestly, sometimes you want to just bite these people and tell them to mind their business…alas self-control must prevail).
Thanks to being empowered by personal growth, independence, and self-assurance, many women as well as men (mostly women though) are now embracing the single life with open arms (peace of mind over pieces of a broken heart). Many have begun to recognize the understated value in investing time in one’s self, by simply focusing on their own goals and aspirations, while enjoying their own company (because no one can love you better than you). Being single no longer holds the stigma or trauma it once did; today, it is seen as a celebration of self-love and self-discovery (some might say selfish but that is their own problem), while mostly waiting for the right one or indulging the buffet of available bodied treats (because a sweet tooth can matter too).
Ups and Down of Dating Apps:
“It’s not ‘GreatCupid’ or even’ GoodCupid.’ It’s OkCupid.”
– Helen Hong.
As much as one can be served an array of decadent and delicious options of bodies, one must realise that, that, too, can be extremely overwhelming; not just overwhelming but it can be extremely dangerous too (because no man is God and can predict the mindset or actions of another). Contrary to popular belief, dating apps are a double-edged sword. For some, these apps or communities provide a convenient platform to meet new people (simply by the swipe of a finger), widen your social circle, and potentially find a meaningful connection (or scratch an itch). On the other hand, they can be a source of frustration, disappointment, and even danger if not approached with caution (remember even crazy people can turn a well-meaning project into the most perilous situation for others…Discovery ID is all the proof and caution you need).
There is an understanding that just because you want to find love online, you also do not want to wake up either without a kidney in a bathtub filled with ice or not wake up at all. The thing is, the risk of gaining what you want must still be taken. By properly utilising dating apps, it can expose individuals to a vast pool of potential matches by helping them expand their dating possibilities beyond their immediate social circles (especially if you do not want to marry a local). These apps, if you are one of the lucky ones, can offer flexibility, convenience, and the opportunity to explore diverse personalities and interests from the comfort of one’s own home. However, it is crucial to exercise common sense and prioritise security while engaging with strangers online.
Be Security Conscious
“The danger which is least expected soonest comes to us.” – Voltaire, French dramatist, poet and reformer born in 1694
For some reason, people who indulge, or are attempting to indulge, in the wide world of dating apps often forget that danger lurks, or can lurk behind a seemingly harmless smile or picture (serial killer, human trafficker, predator or organ harvester is not written on the forehead). Before diving into the online dating world, it’s essential to prioritise your safety. While dating apps have security measures in place, it’s important to remember that not all people have honest intentions. To protect yourself, keep the following tips in mind, especially if the meeting online moves to meeting in person eventually:
1. Trust your instincts: If it feels funny it is funny and not time to laugh. Listen to your gut and act accordingly.
2. Take your time: Get to know your potential date gradually. Why rush a seemingly good thing; let time reveal what you need to know because even pretenders have a limit to how long they can keep up the act.
3. Maintain privacy: Please whatever you do, avoid sharing personal information too early in the conversation. Protect your identity until you build trust with the other person.
4. Meet in public places: When you decide to meet, always opt for crowded and familiar places to ensure your safety. Ladies it is important you choose the space or place because comfort and safety are important. Resist the urge to immediately go back to his place on the first day (Yes he is handsome, alluring, smells great, but you can always indulge another day. And please you can have a friend or relative you trust accompany you; they do not have to sit at the same table but they can be close by just in case you need to be rescued).
Conclusion
“Online dating is just as murky and full of lemons as finding a used car in the classifieds. Once you learn the lingo, it’s easier to spot the models with high mileage and no warranty.” – Laurie Perry
Remember, the key to successful dating lies in striking a balance between embracing the single life and taking calculated risks in the pursuit of love. After all, it’s your journey, and you deserve nothing less than happiness and fulfilment, whether in a relationship or contentedly single. Yes! Love knows no technological bounds and as much as it certainly doesn’t require society’s approval to flourish or happen, one must still be vigilant and careful where you swipe your finger. So, dear readers, especially those on their journey towards happiness, my advice is ‘better safe than sorry’, and I wish you nothing but the best. Till next time, bye.
